The state of Georgia refused to issue a birth certificate to a child born to a couple under the name they chose. Is GA power-tripping, or protecting children?
Please tell me you all have read or seen this headline in the news recently: Parents Sue Georgia for right to call baby girl Allah. I couldn’t let this one just be, I had to see what was up with this story. Was this the state government’s way of imposing their power and taking an anti-Islamic stance without actually saying so? I mean, we are contesting the name Allah here. Is this a breach of the first amendment? Or were these some power-tripping parents bent on having their way and sticking it to the man, even at the cost of their helpless child?
So here we have parents of a baby girl, both having legally different last names from each other, wanting to call their child: ZalyKha Graceful Lorraina Allah. The state of Georgia denied the baby a birth certificate based on the fact that Georgia’s administrative code requires a newborn child to have the last name of at least one parent or a combination of both parents, noting that the name can be changed later on through the courts. According to that particular clause, this child’s name did not qualify for a birth certificate in the state of Georgia, and this really does matter. That birth certificate is actually a really important document; without it this little lamb will not be able to obtain a social security card, be covered under Medicaid, or register for public school. As a parent myself, I would think that getting a valid birth certificate would be of the utmost importance, and bickering over some letters smashed together on paper might be something to tackle later on, but hey! That’s just me. So Georgia said no way, Jose! But why? Why even have these safeguards? Why not just let parents name their kids whatever they desire? They are the parents after all, right?
The reason is simple. Not all parents are like you and me. In a perfect world, parents would simply name their children meaningful, personal names, and focus more of their time and energy on what is really important… like raising them to be decent human beings. Perfect world this is not. Here are a few names that some parents thought would be acceptable to name their tiny infants: Snappy Fishsuit; Acne Fountain; Sex Fruit; Loser; Fat Meat; Stud Duck; Ghoul Nipple; Number 16 Bus Shelter; Yeah Detroit; Tula Does The Hula In Hawaii; Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined; and Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116. As you can see some grown folk lack the common sense to gift their offspring with socially acceptable names, so we have to have these laws in order to protect little ones from their own parents’ idiocy. You don’t like that? Why don’t you go ahead and call up little Ghoul Nipple’s parents and complain to them.
The child in question’s parents claim that they have a simple request, which to have all of their children obtain the same last name, (ironic I suppose considering the parents have entirely different last names altogether.) The couple has a son named Masterful, with the last name Allah. So it was ok once, but now they are being denied the same. I’m not sure what happened there, maybe they just got lucky. Whatever the case is, you probably can’t go into court and request a whole lot of things that were deemed acceptable in the past, but no longer are. Times change, opinions change, laws change. Here are some possible solutions for the ticked off parents: give the little girl a surname of either parent, or a combination of both as the current law states. The certificate can be issued, and then the parents can petition the Superior court to have the name changed. Another solution? They could get married and give their gaggle of humans the same last name as they both have, crazy notion right? Yet another possibility is if they are going to purposely make decisions to try the court system, at least keep up with the changes to the laws and square this stuff away prior to bringing kids into the world. Try being a proactive ninny in the very least.
I get that the parents want full rights regarding all decisions concerning their children, but not everyone is a responsible, loving parent. Sorry, but the real world is cruel like that. Certain restrictions and mandates are put into place so that my daughters don’t sit in between peers named Sex Fruit and Number 6 Bus Shelter in kindergarten. These parents need to get over it and move on. It’s a name for crying out loud. In this day and age families come in all different shapes and sizes, yet here are two people having a certified meltdown over five letters. Names don’t make families, love makes a family! The law said no because your request is kind of stupid, just like it was when Acne Fountain’s parents made their request. Go home, raise your kids and focus on what is really important here, loving NOT winning.
I’m siding with Georgia on this one.